Lost Friends Found! :)

in all my incarnations online, I've made lots of friends. One of them in particular, a guy, was extra special. There was nothing we didn't talk about, laugh about~all that stuff! In our infinite wisdom, we decided that we'd try our hand at being romantically involved. *laughs* that ended in a spectacular display! But we battled back to being great friends. We lost touch however when he moved from where he was, after getting out of the Navy and then I moved here to NH to be with DH. It'd been 2 1/2 years since I'd talked to him, and I'd worry about him-ya know how you do when you're missing someone.

Well... two nights ago we stumbled across each other again! Gosh it was wonderful!! We ended up chatting until 4 am one night, and catching up on the phone last night. It's like the last years haven't happened! We still know each other pretty well, and I'm thrilled to get my friend back! We both got married in this time, and he'd not seen pics of DD since she was 4! It was just amazing.

I'm pretty grateful to have him back in my life as one of my closest friends. And of course i've warned him that if he disappears again, i'm hunting him down and shooting him!

Ya'll take care!

Clear the way Maties, we're goin down...

I'm beginning to hate my stitching.... I've got too much obligation stuff to do. I am doing Mystery 6 from Chatelaine, I've only got part 1 done (out of 8 released parts). I've got Taj Mahal from Chatelaine, and I don't even *have* the first part of that done (out of 6 released parts). I have this wedding sampler I need to get finished, plus a shop model.

Not to mention the hell my home life is becoming again... can we say stress ? I think I need to replace my certs with Tums again, start eating them like candy. Something has to stop the pain in my stomach.

Anyyywho, enough whining. I hope...

Never underestimate the power of Love

Love has brought David Tippin home. Love has kept him safe. Love kept him warm and cool, and helped him find a place to stay protected from the elements. Love helped a resourceful little boy find water, and apparently food. Love kept him wrapped up close in his mother's thoughts while he was gone for 3 days. And love has brought him home to his mother's arms.

I am so grateful for the stitcher's I have met through this joyous hobby. We gathered together this last 3 days, and sent all of our love and hope to one of our own, Stacey Tippin-Prinncess. We kept her held up and supported. Our Love surrounded her and now her little boy is home. Thank you all. I love you all...

Stacey, you are so precious to me. I cried tears, and my heart worried. And my heart rejoices, although not even close to as much as yours. You hug that lil precocious oh so smart adventurer for me okay ?

We are an awesome force...

Bring David Timothy Tippen HOME!


My heart and my thoughts and my prayers are with Stacey, our very own Prinncess and her husband Robert today. Their son, David is missing. He is just 4 years old. Stacey gives all the details in her blog, Perle Moon. Please visit it and please pray for his safe return.

Please come home safe, David. Your mommy misses you.

To my Tory Kat
 
Today is your birthday.  It is almost inconceivable to me that you are seven years old today, but you are.  The last seven years have flown by.  I have watched you grow up so fast, from a sweet baby to the capable young lady you are becoming.  It is hard for me to admit you are becoming a  capable young lady.  I don't want to admit that you don't seem to need me as much as you used to, in the same ways as you used to. 
 
True, you don't need me to wash your hair for you, or give you a bath.   You don't need me to feed you, or cut your food for you all the time.  You don't need me to tie your shoes for you anymore, or zipper your jackets for you.  You don't need me to always make your bed for you, or dress you anymore.  You don't need me to help you with your seatbelt, or opening the car door, or even reading the directions for some of your activities.  You don't need me to read you books anymore, or help you color in the lines.  You don't need me to build your sandcastles for you, or to carry you into the pool. 
 
Realizing you don't need me to do all those things for you anymore brought tears to my eyes.  Where did my baby go?  What could she possibly need from me anymore ?  And then I realized....
 
You need me for kisses all over the face before bedtime, and hugs around the neck~because without them, you simply can't get to sleep.  You  need me to listen to all the things you did in school today because you want me to get as excited about you being the calendar girl as you were.  You  need to cuddle against me during a thunderstorm.  You need to tell me you love me after you fight with me, and you need to hear me tell you I love you no matter what.  You need to chase away the monsters in your bedroom at night sometimes, and you need me to reassure you that the bears your big brother tells you about outside are NOT coming in to get you.  You need me to protect you from the spiders, even though you know I'm as scared of them as you are.  You need me to remind you to flush and wash your hands~every single time!  You need me for soft touches to your forehead, just to reassure you you are not getting a fever.   You need me to shudder and ewwww! at every single bug you bring me just so you can giggle at me.  You need me to cook your favourite dinner on your birthday, and stay up all night the night before wrapping presents. 
 
So today baby, Happy Birthday.  I love you more than anything in my entire life.  I can't remember my life before you came into it,  seven years ago today.  I don't even want to.  You are my shining star, and I thank the heavens for you every day.  There is nothing you cannot do, cannot be.  Your smile and laugh are my joys, and I hope that I see and hear them every day.  They are what *I* need.  I love you, my lil girl. 
 

Attention Stitcher X (and everyone else who ever sent a hateful anonymous email/ezmsg):

During the fuss and the muss of JPC closing, I'm sure you snuck in, struck with your poisonous words, and left. You even deleted your user account, so that no one could or would be able to respond to you. A classic hit and run.

The cowards way.

Yes, I said it, a coward. ANYone who doesn't have the guts to sign their name to something is a coward. If I have something to say, I sign my name. I mean, if I feel passionate enough about something to write about it, I have the responsibility to stand behind my words. Sending one line emails, filled with vitriol and hatred, while it may be passionate, is also childish. And in my opinion, behaviours like this are the main reason that JPC on the TWBB has become a place so filled with controversy, hatred filled debates, sniping, backbiting, and secrets and why the forum is going away.

I don't know that for sure, but I do know that there is just so much childishness that anyone can put up with. If you are so sure of your beliefs, why not stand behind them publically? Why do you hide ? Or do you hide because you might be shown the truth, not the speculations that fill your mind? I know this, the mean and hateful things said in an email from Stitcher X to a close friend of mine are absolutely NOT TRUE. Unless you are TW, Miss Stitcher X, then you really DON"T know why JPC is being deleted. I sincerely doubt however, that TW would stoop to an anonymous ezmessage, and not sign her name.

I can't believe that such accusations are flying around, and I can but hope that we all learn how to act like the adults we are supposed to be. No one person is to blame for this, we all bear part of the burden. Let's shoulder it and move on.

I'm finally a LADY!!!




I took the most accurate villain personality test
created by: The Arch Villainess Gracie

Uh-oh LOL

How to make a Angi

Ingredients: 3 parts anger 3 parts silliness 3 parts joy

Method: Combine in a tall glass half filled with crushed ice. Serve with a slice of wisdom and a pinch of salt. Yum!

Username:

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Well I think it just might be me folks ! :)

A	Arty
N	Nutty
G	Graceful
E	Explosive
L	Lazy
A	Awesome

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

Today's Blog, courtesy of Maroon 5's song Harder to Breathe


How dare you say that my behavior's unacceptable
So condescending, unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step cause if I do you'll need a miracle

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This double vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to funkin' tread the ground that I am walking on

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control

Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

I HATE confrontation. I absolutely abhor it. I avoid it at all costs. I will walk away from IM's with little warning, I will grow quieter on a phone call, I will avoid a friend for weeks at a time, if I feel I need to avoid a confrontation. What I won't do is totally ignore something someone has said while *IN* a confrontation.

Someone in my life is going through a rough patch right now. I hurt for them, because they hurt. Where do you draw the line at sympathy though, when you don't agree with the direction they've gone? When you can only see more pain, more suffering and more fights for everyone involved if this path is walked? Your opinion is asked, do you give it? Do you murmur platitudes ?

I would hope that I can be honest with all of my friends. That if my opinion is asked, I can offer it. Even if it is painful, even if it is NOT what they want to (or think they need to) hear at the time. I would hope that I wouldn't lose any of my friends when something is asked and given that differs so deeply with their course of action that it angers them. Then again, how can I know?

I don't. But I have to have faith. Because for me, I trust my friends to tell me the things I need to hear. The naked truth, even if it hurts. Even if it's not what I need right then... it's most likely what I'm going to need to hear later. I try to surround myself with those who are honest. I trust in their judgements and opinions. Quite frankly if I didn't, they wouldn't be my friends.

What about you? Do you trust your friends to tell you the truth? Even when you don't want to hear it ? Something to think about, huh?

Take care.

Notes from the Past...
There’s been a song that’s been speaking to me lately. Actually, at the volume I play CD’s in my car when I’m alone, my DH would say it’s been screaming, but he’s just silly. Good music is been when played LOUD! But that is neither here nor there. The song is Because of You from Nickleback’s new album Long Road. It’s the best song on the album I think as far as a rocking song. But that’s not why it’s speaking to me. It’s the lyrics.

I’ve written about my issues with my illness before. Before I was diagnosed, and for a little while afterwards, while I was getting stable, I was an emotional mess. I had no coping skills, and my childhood was, well… let’s just say abusive and leave it at that. I was an emotional manipulator because that’s what I knew how to do, and that’s what got me attention. Being locked into manic and depressive cycles is awful, and not knowing it is worse. Being an emotional cripple on top of all that is horrific.

So is what I did to all the people who cared about me during those times in my life. Those that loved me. I look back, and I’m amazed anyone stayed around for any length of time. That I didn’t push them away faster than I did with my behaviours. That’s why the lyrics really talk to me in this song. Let me show you:

Edge on the mirror, Can't get much clearer, Can't make this all go away
Now that you're bleeding. You stare at the ceiling, Watch as it all fades away
With what you do. Because of you

You know I can't be there. Each time that you call
I swore not to come, But I'm here after all
I know by the look that i see in your eye
I won't stand around and i won't watch you die
For what you do Why do you Why do you think I don’t love you
What becomes of you Why do you Why do you think I’m blind

Now that you did this,You ask for forgiveness, Doctor could you be my priest
You say you're mistaken, But look what you've taken,You laugh as you lie through your teeth
With what you do, Because of you

(repeat Chorus)

Edge on the mirror, Can't get much clearer, Can't make this all go away
Now that you're bleeding, You stare at the ceiling, Watch as it all fades away
With what you do, Because of you

You know I can't be there,Each time that you call
I swore not to come, But I'm here after all
I know by the look that I see in your eye
I won't stand around and I won't watch you die
For what you do, What you do, What you do
What becomes of you, Do, what you do,What you do
What becomes of, Because of you, Because of

If you got this far, I appreciate it. This blog is reaching epic lengths already. It was pretty important to actually put all the lyrics in there. The verse sorta describes how I used to be, and the chorus describes everyone in my life I think.

Many of those people I can no longer find. Most of them have moved out of my life, onto their own lives. Old boyfriends, ex-friends. In a way I’m sad they can’t see how I really did straighten out my life, and get it right. I wish that they could. But that’s not the biggest reason I’d like to find some of them right now. I’d like to say…. I’m sorry. From the bottom of my heart and soul… I’m so sorry for the hell I put you all through. It wasn’t fair, and it wasn’t right, and I’m so grateful for the love that you gave me then.
It made more of a difference than you can ever know. Thank you.

Ya'll be good to yourselves. And to the ones that love you :)

The Stitcher's Five

1.)Which is your favourite brand of speciality thread?
I have to pick one ? *nibbles a lip* Well right now it's Gloriana Silks. But I'm an equal opportunity specialty thread addict.

2.)Why?
Gloriana's are so soft and beautiful. The colors are stunningly gorgeous. My favourite right this minute is Monet's Pond, along with Cranberry, and Silver Fox. Hmmm...also Twilight... I could go on. They are just beautiful!

3)How many other brands of thread do you have in your stash?
Wow, I have to tell this ? Wonder if I can keep DH from reading this!
Silks: Thread Gatherer, Waterlilies, Dinky Dyes, Au ver au soie, Silk Mori, Milkpaints, TBN Bloomin Threads, Gloriana, Gumnuts, Rajmahal, Eterna Overdyeds, Colour Streams, SMF Candy Floss, Needlepoint Inc, Stef Francis, Cascade House, Vikki Clayton, Silk Serica, Silk Trezibond, Caron Soie Crystale
Cottons: Six Strand Sweets (full set), GAST (full set), WDW, SMF Candy Floss, TBN Bloomin Threads, Delectable Delights Floss, Needle Necessities, The Dye Shop, Dinky Dyes, Stef Francis, Dyepot Threads.

4.) How do you store your threads?
Most of them are in their own Floss-a-way baggies then in boxes or drawers in my storage tower. My Silk'n Colors are in a drawer in my specialty box, along with the TBN threads. I have pretty limited storage so I do the best I can

5.) How confident do you feel at substituting between thread types and colours compared to what the chart calls for?
I'm getting more confident. I really like the look of overdyed threads and so I love to substitute colors and see the different looks.

The Stitcher's Five


1. Which do you prefer, Kits or Charts?

I prefer charts because I tend to substitute fabrics, I love hand dyes and will use them whenever possible. Kits also tend to come with Aida fabric, and non-descript floss.

2. Why?

Kitting up is half the fun!! :) I love putting a project together~deciding on fabric colors, maybe changing some floss colors. It makes my heart go pitter-pat :)

3. How do you organise your materials before you stitch

Every kitted project is usually also a WIP, even if it has only 10 stitching in it. Because of that, if it is a big project~like a Mirabilia~the floss gets bobbined and then goes into a CraftStor containter that also holds my scissors, thread heaven, highlighter and any other tools this project needs. All of that goes into the right sized mesh bag to hold the q-snaps and fabric.

4. Do you do anything to the sides of your fabric before starting?

Since I tend to use mostly hand-dyed it's already serged, but I usually ask my best friend to serge the edges of regular fabrics for me. Otherwise I tend to make an unraveling mess.

5. What do you do with the leftovers when your done?

You mean you're supposed to finish stuff ??? Seriously.. I have a baggie for leftover project floss, which is where I go first when I'm kitting up new stuff. The q-snaps go for the next project, same with the bag, and container.

This just says it all... LOL

Are you Addicted to the Internet? 80% Hardcore Junkie (61% - 80%) While you do get a bit of sleep every night and sometimes leave the house, you spend as much time as you can online. You usually have a browser, chat clients, server consoles, and your email on auto check open at all times. Phone? What's that? You plan your social events by contacting your friends online. Just be careful you don't get a repetitive wrist injury... The Are you Addicted to the Internet? Quiz at Quiz Me!

Confidences...
My mother once taught me, the only secret that is kept is between you and someone who is already dead. She said that’s the only way to keep something totally secret. Otherwise people are driven to reveal things. It’s human nature she said. We feel like we can trust a person in our lives, and so we tell them something. A friend, a lover, a relative. It could be trivial; it could be something that would rock the very foundation of our life if it were revealed. Yet we need to confide. It seems to be a primitive need deep inside to share a part of ourselves, to trust a secret of self. Perhaps in hopes of being trusted back, perhaps. Or perhaps just in search of companionship. No matter the reason, we trust, we share… and somewhere down the line that person we talked to feels that same need. And the cycle begins.

Sometimes the confidences are tiny. Sometimes they are vital to our existence. At times they can be something so painful, so consuming that they cannot be held alone, but need to be shared. All too often, they are things that should not be shared. I understand our need to confide, to believe those around us are trustworthy. We want to believe that those we surround ourselves with are people would could trust with our lives, or even our skeletons (no matter how trivial the secret, or how severe). Now mind you, I’m not talking about murder or child molestation/abuse secrets here. . Those types of things don’t even enter into this thought process. Please know that. I’m talking about something that may be even the most mundane thing to you, may be something that another would find humiliating What I don’t understand, is when proven time and time again that we should not confide, we should keep our lives to ourselves, why we as humans continue the pattern.

I am of course speaking from personal experience. It has happened yet again to me. Someone I trusted with something has gone behind me to another with something told in confidence. Is it a trivial matter? Is it a foundation rocking matter? Now do you really think I’m going to reveal that to you? I may have forgotten my old rule of “reveal nothing” for a while, but I won’t forget again. It but serves to remind me I’ve become complacent. I’ve become too…free with my confidences. Once the only way I survived was to reveal nothing, say nothing about my personal life. It was the only way I stayed sane. Because nothing ever was the same as I had told it. Nothing ever comes back the way you tell it. It changes subtly in the retelling. It always does. Suddenly something that you felt was just a little bit wrong with something in your life has become a character flaw so massive people no longer want to be associated with you, by the time it has come through the retelling. That is just an example I can think of. We all played that game in elementary school. You remember the one where someone whispered a sentence to someone at the front of the room, and by the time it got to the back of the room it no longer even resembled the original statement.

And that’s what’s happened here as well. It’s not quite the same as it was when it was confided. *shrugs* I should have remembered that as well. I won’t forget again.

Ya’ll be good to yourselves.

Angi

How families come together...
I come from a pretty dysfunctional family. My mom will be the first to tell you she should have never had children. She's not the mothering type. Too selfish she says, too self-centered. She can't understand how she managed to have an "earth-mother" for a child. That's what she has called me from the time I've been little. I would be the neighborhood mommy. I loved to play with the younger kids in the neighborhood cause I could mother them. I've never wanted anything more than to be a wife and mother. My mother wanted me to be a career woman. Hence she does not understand me, and I don't understand her. At times of crisis, my family tends to turn on each other. We resemble nothing more than a pack of rabid wolves at times.

I've seen something completely different in this family I've married into however. I love my in-laws. I really do. They aren't perfect and they'd be the first to tell you that too. But as a package they are lovely. They welcomed me into this family, and accepted my daughter with love and affection. Honestly, that's what mattered the most to me. I could handle a family treating me like dirt, but not my baby girl. She wouldn't understand.

I had a point to this ramble :) I know, surprising. My BIL is running in the Boston Marathon next Monday. DH and I joke that he and his fiance are perfectly matched. They are fit, athletic and trim. They go running together, eat healthy and are both gorgeous. Whereas DH and I are fluffy, pudgy and decidedly not athletic. Anyhow, He has this chance to run to raise money for the Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation. My FIL was diagnosed with this insidious cancer last September, and it rocked the family. And I was stunned, and amazed at how the family pulled tightly together thru the diagnosis, the subsequent testing, and a pretty scary hospital stay that November. I'm not suprised at all that running in this marathon is my BIL's way to do something. He's pledged to raise $7500 for the Research Foundation. He's just over $4000 of that. I'm going to include a link just in case anyone wants to help. Absolutely no pressure! This is all I can do to help him in his efforts to raise money, to get the word out there. Besides, you'll get to see my DH. He's the one in the blue striped shirt!

Boston Marathon Fundraiser for Multiple Myeloma Research Foundation

Ya'll be good to yourselves.

Angi

I've never been good at confrontation...
Especially with those that I care about. This puts my husband at the top of the list of those I hate arguing with. Make it a heated topic we are on firm opposite sides about and I'd rather crawl into a hole than talk about it. *sighs* We're having a difference of opinion on a quite personal subject. It has resonances of the past in it, and I don't agree with how he feels. I sympathize with it. I don't think he believes that part, but I do. The problem we are having is that he feels quite strong I should be "on his side". I can't be, I don't agree with his side. I can see the validity of how he feels, and how he could feel that way. But I can't agree, or be overly supportive or sympathetic. I can't give him the comfort he craves right now, because I don't agree with him. It's causing us to argue and fight, to the point we almost slept apart last night.

*sighs*

I don't believe that being married to someone, or even being friends with someone means that you have to agree with them all the time. in fact, I feel if you do there is seriously something wrong. What i'm on shaky ground with is how to handle that. How to not let it affect our day-to-day routine. So many times things like this can crack and shatter foundations of relationships and be the lil niggling thing that doesn't get settled, that comes up again and again. It seems we have a bunch of those 'little things' lately. It's so frustrating.

In other news, DD seems to almost have another tooth ready to come out. Hopefully this one will come out today, and the tooth faery can make another pitstop tonight.

As far as stitching is concerned, I've been working like mad on a model for my LNS, a patriotic model that has me hating red, white and blue. I never was a flag person to begin with, and goddess knows I won't be after this, that's for sure!!

Ya'll be good to yourselves!

Say what you mean with a song...

Today's blog is dedicated to my twin :) She knows who she is :)

It's the song Bounce by Bon Jovi (of whom I am a fan of over 20 years btw).

I been knocked down so many times
Counted out 6, 7, 8, 9
Written off like some bad deal
If you’re breathing you know how it feels
Call it karma, call it luck
Me, I just don’t give a

B-B-B-Bounce, bounce nothing’s gonna keep me down
Bounce, bounce stand up, shout it out
Bounce, bounce I play hard, I play to win
Count me out, count me in
I’ll be bouncing back again

This ain’t no game; I play it hard
Kicked around, cut, stitched and scarred
I’ll take the hit but not the fall
I know no fear, still standing tall
You can call it karma, call it luck
Me, I just don’t give a

B-B-B-Bounce, bounce nothing’s gonna keep me down
Bounce, bounce stand up, shout it out
Bounce, bounce I play hard, I play to win
Count me out, count me in
I’ll be bouncing back again

Bounce!

Bring it on, I like it rough
In your face, I call your bluff
It ain’t karma, it ain’t luck
Me, I just don’t give a

B-B-B-Bounce, bounce nothing’s gonna keep me down
Bounce, bounce stand up, shout it out
Bounce, bounce I play hard, I play to win
Count me out, count me in
I’ll be bouncing back again

Bounce, bounce
Nothing’s gonna keep me down
Bounce, bounce stand up, shout it out
Bounce, bounce I play hard, I play to win
Count me out, count me in
I’ll be bouncing back again

I took a walk along the dark side of the moon...
That's how it feels at least lately. The last month has been incredibly draining, and I haven't felt at all like blogging. I doubt anyone is going to see this, since I have updated in over a month. All my energy has gone to trying to stay healthy, drag us into financial stability, and do family stuff.

I will try and catch up on the bullet points over the next few days. My Secret Stitcher bought me the Taj Mahal membership, and I have all the threads to stitch it, just no fabric yet. I'm way behind on Mystery 6 so there's no real rush. I'm working on a model for Misty Stitches, and a model for my LNS. Those are both slow going as my hands go numb more often than not, and when cold I have no feeling in them at all. *sighs* I can stitch now only because Prinn was so generous and sent me her old Gazelle floor stand. I'm still figuring out exactly how to wiggle around it, i'm not sure it's *the* stand for me ... but it's better than none right now that's for sure.

Crystal Indulgence scissor fobs seem to be taking off, I hope to have some opportunities for expansion in the next few weeks :) I hope :)I really enjoy creating them!

I just wish my health would join the upward swing of everything else in my life *sighs*

Anyways, that's where we all are here. All in all, things are pretty good. I hope ya'll are taking care of yourselves. Hugs n stitches.