Goooood Friday morning!
As I sit here waiting for my tea to finish steeping, so I can have my first burst of caffiene for the day, I marvel at something. I'm really tired. I didn't get to sleep until after 2am. This used to happen a lot, but now it's become so rare I could hardly believe it myself!
I STITCHED!!! Until 2 am!!!! I didn't even want to go to bed *then* but my eyes were crossing and my body was shutting down on me. Now, I was working on Mystery 8, so you can't tell I did 4 hours on it... but *I* Can!
We met with our rector yesterday to start the process for our 're-wedding' in July. Hopefully I can catch our music director soon--I want to ask if he'll play the harp! We're just going to have this done during regular Sunday morning services, which my rector was quite excited about!
From there it was off to the stitching social. Dd was relatively well behaved, but I don't think I'll go back to the Thursday socials. Just a feeling I get that I shouldn't if I have DD. Not everyone has patience with kids, and no everyone has to put up with them... so. :)
I haven't gotten any orders in my pampered chef catalog party *sigh* Ahh well. I'm not supposed to close it until May 22, but I doubt it will be necessary.
Today is grocery shopping day. Figures that it's the first day all week that the sun is out, and there is the *possibility* I could do yardwork. Humph. Stupid weather!
Y'all take care!
Friday, April 29, 2005
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
In Pursuit of Perfection...
I was talking to 2 of my best friends on IM last night, something I haven't had tons of time to do lately. I'd just gotten home from a long day, tucked the alien into bed and was settling down to do my computer stuff-check email, check on the boards I admin, balance the checkbook *blech*, etc. Between both conversations, the subjects turned to life's stresses and how we deal with them. One artsy friend is stressing about her husband's anniversary present, another bright friend is struggling with some personal issues.
I have developed over the last couple of months a much different outlook on life. It's not something I've been really public about, due to it being a massive change from my former beliefs. My family and I started going to church again--the Episcopal church. It has made such a difference in our lives. Most of my life I had felt failed by God and fellow Christians...failed in situations that happened quite a long time ago. I'd been feeling tugged by certain situations over the last 2 years--I describe it now as God had me on a fishing reel, and was slowly pulling me in. It has made such an infinite difference in how I view stressors-money, kids, friends, time, schedules. I spend a lot of time in prayer-although I don't think my prayer is much like anyone else's. I have an incredible pair of rectors at my church, one of whom is female. Heath is one of those people that literally to me, glows with the joy of God, with the calling to minister. If you're interested, here's the link to my parish. St. Pauls Church of Concord NH
It's become so important to us as a family, that we are having our marriage officially blessed by the church this summer. None of our parents nor most of our family were able to make our quick civil wedding in November of 2003. All of our family are coming, and we've worked it out so it's right about when both kids' birthdays are! How's that for scheduling! I've never been baptised, so I'm in the middle of confirmation classes, and will be baptised and confirmed on June 12th. DD has joined the children's choir, and loves every minute of it!
So I realized-- my life in some areas is little better than in the past. We still struggle with getting my support checks in time, DH and I have still had some epic fights, stretching the budget still sucks up so much of time and energy, and then there's DD's behaviours. She's the love of my life, but the greatest challenge of it as well. And I realized recently, my stressors didn't really change--I changed. I changed how I react, how I plan and how I deal. I changed, not the situations. I'm sure it sounds hokey, and trite, and canned--but I have a greater strength now. I'm not dealing with my stressors alone anymore... I have help. I have God beside me... carrying me when I need it most. I've missed this feeling of peace all my life, and I'm slowly regaining it. And Thank God.
I was talking to 2 of my best friends on IM last night, something I haven't had tons of time to do lately. I'd just gotten home from a long day, tucked the alien into bed and was settling down to do my computer stuff-check email, check on the boards I admin, balance the checkbook *blech*, etc. Between both conversations, the subjects turned to life's stresses and how we deal with them. One artsy friend is stressing about her husband's anniversary present, another bright friend is struggling with some personal issues.
I have developed over the last couple of months a much different outlook on life. It's not something I've been really public about, due to it being a massive change from my former beliefs. My family and I started going to church again--the Episcopal church. It has made such a difference in our lives. Most of my life I had felt failed by God and fellow Christians...failed in situations that happened quite a long time ago. I'd been feeling tugged by certain situations over the last 2 years--I describe it now as God had me on a fishing reel, and was slowly pulling me in. It has made such an infinite difference in how I view stressors-money, kids, friends, time, schedules. I spend a lot of time in prayer-although I don't think my prayer is much like anyone else's. I have an incredible pair of rectors at my church, one of whom is female. Heath is one of those people that literally to me, glows with the joy of God, with the calling to minister. If you're interested, here's the link to my parish. St. Pauls Church of Concord NH
It's become so important to us as a family, that we are having our marriage officially blessed by the church this summer. None of our parents nor most of our family were able to make our quick civil wedding in November of 2003. All of our family are coming, and we've worked it out so it's right about when both kids' birthdays are! How's that for scheduling! I've never been baptised, so I'm in the middle of confirmation classes, and will be baptised and confirmed on June 12th. DD has joined the children's choir, and loves every minute of it!
So I realized-- my life in some areas is little better than in the past. We still struggle with getting my support checks in time, DH and I have still had some epic fights, stretching the budget still sucks up so much of time and energy, and then there's DD's behaviours. She's the love of my life, but the greatest challenge of it as well. And I realized recently, my stressors didn't really change--I changed. I changed how I react, how I plan and how I deal. I changed, not the situations. I'm sure it sounds hokey, and trite, and canned--but I have a greater strength now. I'm not dealing with my stressors alone anymore... I have help. I have God beside me... carrying me when I need it most. I've missed this feeling of peace all my life, and I'm slowly regaining it. And Thank God.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Wait, where did spring go?
As I dig out from beneath the blankets and down comforter this morning, my teeth chattering and absolutely dreading stepping on my bare floor, I can't help but wonder--Where the heck did spring go???
Two weeks ago we had temps in the low to mid 60's, night temps the mid to high 40's. All was decently well with my world. At one point I even contemplated packing away the source of fuzzy-warm goodness (the down comforter, not DH). Boy am I glad I was a bit lazy that day!!
It's school vacation week, which means let's *hope* DD makes it ;) Actually we have a bunch of stuff planned-just no Brownie activities since all the kids are off school. It's odd not seeing the girls :)
A door closed yesterday, and that was hard. I am glad though that I took the steps I took. At class last week, we were discussing maxims. We all passed them around, and when one struck you in particular, you kept the board and then read it and spoke about it. Mine was the one about forgiveness-not seven times seven.. but seventy times seven. That is always so hard for me, a struggle to see past the hurts and the words. It's a big thing for DH and I, and between my parents and I. But I spent a lot of time in prayer yesterday and last night, and this morning I can say... I forgive. I've already said I'm sorry. I've done what I need to do for my own peace.
Ya'll take care :)
As I dig out from beneath the blankets and down comforter this morning, my teeth chattering and absolutely dreading stepping on my bare floor, I can't help but wonder--Where the heck did spring go???
Two weeks ago we had temps in the low to mid 60's, night temps the mid to high 40's. All was decently well with my world. At one point I even contemplated packing away the source of fuzzy-warm goodness (the down comforter, not DH). Boy am I glad I was a bit lazy that day!!
It's school vacation week, which means let's *hope* DD makes it ;) Actually we have a bunch of stuff planned-just no Brownie activities since all the kids are off school. It's odd not seeing the girls :)
A door closed yesterday, and that was hard. I am glad though that I took the steps I took. At class last week, we were discussing maxims. We all passed them around, and when one struck you in particular, you kept the board and then read it and spoke about it. Mine was the one about forgiveness-not seven times seven.. but seventy times seven. That is always so hard for me, a struggle to see past the hurts and the words. It's a big thing for DH and I, and between my parents and I. But I spent a lot of time in prayer yesterday and last night, and this morning I can say... I forgive. I've already said I'm sorry. I've done what I need to do for my own peace.
Ya'll take care :)
Monday, April 25, 2005
Monday, Schmunday...
It doesn't feel like Monday. That would probably be because my DD has the week off of school, so I got to sleep until the ripe ole time of 8:30 am. The alien girlchild just woke up (it's nearly 9). I also have the overgrown boychild here, attitude and all. He's also off school. *insert hair pulling icon here*
The weekend was interesting, in an odd, head-tilting sort of way. Friday nite was DD's first softball practice, and as the team is "coach-less", all the parents agreed to drill the kids. It was fun actually!. Saturday was DD's psych appt--as I suspected, the dr. doubled her meds. *sighs* I am truly praying this will help, as twice this week I've gotten 2 page notes about her actions. Sunday I didn't have class at church, and it seemed to throw everyone's day off. We all sorta didn't know what to do, to top it off-it was raining outside.
I stitched some too, not much. Infinitely more than I have been, however. Two stitches would have been more than I have been. I got chocolate in the mail too, from the UK. My favorite kind. I was confused there for a while too, and part of me confesses, perhaps a little hopeful. *smiles* I shouldn't have been either confused, or hopeful. Seems my receipt of this delight was set up ages ago, and not what I thought it might have been. Ahhh well.
I'm not going to be able to get my yard work done this week, if this dratted rain doesn't go away!!! I had big plans...*thumbs her nose at the rain*
Ya'll have a great day!
It doesn't feel like Monday. That would probably be because my DD has the week off of school, so I got to sleep until the ripe ole time of 8:30 am. The alien girlchild just woke up (it's nearly 9). I also have the overgrown boychild here, attitude and all. He's also off school. *insert hair pulling icon here*
The weekend was interesting, in an odd, head-tilting sort of way. Friday nite was DD's first softball practice, and as the team is "coach-less", all the parents agreed to drill the kids. It was fun actually!. Saturday was DD's psych appt--as I suspected, the dr. doubled her meds. *sighs* I am truly praying this will help, as twice this week I've gotten 2 page notes about her actions. Sunday I didn't have class at church, and it seemed to throw everyone's day off. We all sorta didn't know what to do, to top it off-it was raining outside.
I stitched some too, not much. Infinitely more than I have been, however. Two stitches would have been more than I have been. I got chocolate in the mail too, from the UK. My favorite kind. I was confused there for a while too, and part of me confesses, perhaps a little hopeful. *smiles* I shouldn't have been either confused, or hopeful. Seems my receipt of this delight was set up ages ago, and not what I thought it might have been. Ahhh well.
I'm not going to be able to get my yard work done this week, if this dratted rain doesn't go away!!! I had big plans...*thumbs her nose at the rain*
Ya'll have a great day!
Friday, April 22, 2005
Wow--a long break
And boy did I need it! But things are sorta settling back into place these days, except for the filled dates in my datebook... one of the reasons I've not updated in quite some time is that, well, I've been busy. I got a real honest to goodness life--something I've been gently told and sarcastically suggested to many times.
Since you've seen me last here is a short list of things I've been doing:
-Buying a new van! We finally have a second car, and thanks to a buy-here pay-here place, we were able to afford a *much* nicer car than we thought. We ended up getting a 2001 Ford Windstar with relatively low miles! I have a mini-van now! I'm a true soccer/softball mom/Girl Scout leader now! :) And the icing on the cake is that the van is *silver* *Squeeeeee* I've only had the van for 13 days, but I'm not sure how we've lived without another car for so long!!!
-Getting DD into therapy to try and stabalize her. She's also on new medicine, with a new stricter regime here at home and school. She is most likely an early onset bi-polar disorder (and we won't even touch on how much I ache with guilt because of my genetics). She is slowly evening out, but it's been a rough 2 months.
-Focusing on a friend who is in an abusive marriage. She has been pretty fragile, and I've been spending every available moment with her--she's getting stronger thought, and hopefully will be ready to change her situation soon. I'm so so so proud of her!!
-Hitting hyper-drive with Girl Scout activties. We have meetings *every* Tuesday now, and there aren't many Saturdays we don't have something planned in the end of the year crush. We're also planning a kick-butt fly-up/bridging ceremony.
-Having nearly *every* day booked in my planner-softball, brownies, school trips, church functions, classes. I'm so seriously busy, but I'm SO seriously loving it!!
-Gathering information and support in the PTO--I'm running for secretary for this next year. It's going to be a blast!!!
That's the cliff notes version of my life lately... The rest of it is awesome! My marriage is healthy and strong, my children are improving slowly with commitment and work. I've got flowers to plant, and am focusing on getting our yard in shape. I've become a better housekeeper, a better mother, a better wife, and a better friend--at least I think. But the bottom line in my feeling is... I've become a better me. I'm happier and more stable than I can ever remember being, and I thank God for it.
So... I must run! Oh-yes. What you see very *little* of on there is stitching. *sighs* I have lost my desire for it... it's more effort lately I think than it's worth. I don't know why, or if i'll ever be in love with it like I have been. I hope so, since I have tons of things I want to finish. We'll see how I figure out how to cope with that. It's the only shadow in my happiest of happy days lately. I'm working on it...because if I don't fall back in love with it, I'm going to need to sell all this stuff!!!LOL
Have a *great* day, take care of yourself!
And boy did I need it! But things are sorta settling back into place these days, except for the filled dates in my datebook... one of the reasons I've not updated in quite some time is that, well, I've been busy. I got a real honest to goodness life--something I've been gently told and sarcastically suggested to many times.
Since you've seen me last here is a short list of things I've been doing:
-Buying a new van! We finally have a second car, and thanks to a buy-here pay-here place, we were able to afford a *much* nicer car than we thought. We ended up getting a 2001 Ford Windstar with relatively low miles! I have a mini-van now! I'm a true soccer/softball mom/Girl Scout leader now! :) And the icing on the cake is that the van is *silver* *Squeeeeee* I've only had the van for 13 days, but I'm not sure how we've lived without another car for so long!!!
-Getting DD into therapy to try and stabalize her. She's also on new medicine, with a new stricter regime here at home and school. She is most likely an early onset bi-polar disorder (and we won't even touch on how much I ache with guilt because of my genetics). She is slowly evening out, but it's been a rough 2 months.
-Focusing on a friend who is in an abusive marriage. She has been pretty fragile, and I've been spending every available moment with her--she's getting stronger thought, and hopefully will be ready to change her situation soon. I'm so so so proud of her!!
-Hitting hyper-drive with Girl Scout activties. We have meetings *every* Tuesday now, and there aren't many Saturdays we don't have something planned in the end of the year crush. We're also planning a kick-butt fly-up/bridging ceremony.
-Having nearly *every* day booked in my planner-softball, brownies, school trips, church functions, classes. I'm so seriously busy, but I'm SO seriously loving it!!
-Gathering information and support in the PTO--I'm running for secretary for this next year. It's going to be a blast!!!
That's the cliff notes version of my life lately... The rest of it is awesome! My marriage is healthy and strong, my children are improving slowly with commitment and work. I've got flowers to plant, and am focusing on getting our yard in shape. I've become a better housekeeper, a better mother, a better wife, and a better friend--at least I think. But the bottom line in my feeling is... I've become a better me. I'm happier and more stable than I can ever remember being, and I thank God for it.
So... I must run! Oh-yes. What you see very *little* of on there is stitching. *sighs* I have lost my desire for it... it's more effort lately I think than it's worth. I don't know why, or if i'll ever be in love with it like I have been. I hope so, since I have tons of things I want to finish. We'll see how I figure out how to cope with that. It's the only shadow in my happiest of happy days lately. I'm working on it...because if I don't fall back in love with it, I'm going to need to sell all this stuff!!!LOL
Have a *great* day, take care of yourself!
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